Pickle Relish, Boston, and The Laz

5/24
I am headed out for a summer on the Schooner Harvey Gamage. After signing off the Picton Castle I spent a week catching up with friends (not nearly enough time) and family (even less time). I did my best to make the most of my short time ashore, but my apologies to all, as I did not get to spend the amount of time with all my loved ones that they deserve. That’s life, I suppose. Never enough time to spend a day or so with everyone.
While home I was able to take in all the staples of Kansas City in May: barbecue, Winsteads at the Plaza, McCoy’s in Westport, and even a Royals game. I’m not a real baseball nut, but Kaufman stadium is a beautiful ballpark, and seeing the Royals always brings back memories of being a kid. Fittingly, I went with two longtime friends, Tim and Elliott.

Probably the finest picture of me ever taken in the history of anything.

One of the more exciting happenings at the game, besides Mike Sweeney’s two-run homer or Zach Grienke’s 1 2/3 scoreless innings to clinch the game, was the hot dog race. It’s a masterpiece of idiocy, and loaded with the same kind charm as a toddler wandering nude into his parent’s social gathering. People dressed as giant hot dogs, each wearing a red, yellow, or green hat that represented ketchup, mustard or pickle relish respectively, ran a foot race from the foul pole in right field to home plate. The crowd was electric. Relish won.

I also made it to a baseball game in Oklahoma City last Saturday. Being only my second day back in America, it was one of the more intense “welcome back to America” moments. We were bombarded with advertisements relentlessly, and mini exhibitions between each inning meant to entertain. Periodically a notable Oklahoman like American Idol star Carrie Underwood or the governor would come on the JumboTron and deliver a heartfelt message to the troops overseas, saying words like freedom, and sacrifice, noble, and proud. Immediately following one of these tributes, the governor’s I think, with the screen still fading out, the P.A. system starts blasting with the Funky Chicken.
Also at the OKC Redhawks games is a cannon that shoots t-shirts (even weirder, at Kaufman in KC there is a bazooka that launches hot dogs into the crowd). Having just come from spending nearly three months either at sea or in a third world country (Dominca), It was strange to think that some very rich, powerful people got together and had a meeting in which they discussed seriously the need for a cannon that shoots wadded up t-shirts (or hot-dogs for that matter). In Dominica, conversely, when they get the wealthy and powerful people in a meeting together I have a feeling they would probably rather discuss their need for, say, an economy. The wonders of civilization: ceaselessly amazing, frequently dumbfounding.
Also, the word is out about what we were doing for those two months in Dominca. Officially, I can divulge somewhat openly without fear of a $5 million lawsuit. We filmed the new CBS reality show, “Pirate Master.” It is intended to be the next Survivor, and it is basically the same formula, just put in the context of a pirate adventure rather than a bunch of strangers moping around on a beach.

Of particular interest to me was one of the 16 contestants. Former Kansas City Chief running back, Christian Okoye, was onboard as a “pirate,” and I was thrilled. I had little fireworks go off inside me every time I got to show him something about sailing the ship or told a joke that made him laugh. Just seeing him haul on a line or heave on the windlass was a trip because you got to see just how big and strong he really was. I can’t imagine ever having to tackle him. He is huge. My friend Erin called him “Gigantor.” To cap it off, I got to sit and talk with him for 20 minutes or so at the end of everything, and he is a really nice guy. The ten year-old kid in me was on cloud nine while I talked football with one of the biggest football legends in KC history.
All in all, it was a pretty cool experience. The show airs Thursday, May 31st, on CBS. I want everyone to watch it and see the ship. She looks awesome. She legitimizes the whole pirate theme. If not for the Picton Castle, the show would lose a lot of its cool-factor.

5/25
My first day on the Gamage is over. Spent the morning doing ships laundry in a Laundromat here in Boston. The remarkable thing about Boston is that everything is historic. There is a plaque on every third building saying “Alexander Hamilton had tea here once,” or “Benjamin Franklin got drunk here a lot” (which, honestly, could be posted all over Boston and Philadelphia with reasonable confidence).
Historicity Saturation Exhibit A: We are docked where the famous Boston Tea Party took place so many years ago.
Exhibit B: Boston Harbor still brown.
Exhibit C: While walking from the Laundromat to a convenience store for a bevvy (beverage), I happened past the Old North Church where the signal was lit which sent Paul Revere on his famous ride, inspiring an equally famous song by the Beastie Boys. Boston really is a cool place, though. I have hoofed through a good bit of downtown, and the whole place has a very unique, cool feel. Though I’m sure it’s a tough place to navigate. Thankfully I have always been shepherded around by savvier crew mates when on shore
In the afternoon I overhauled the blocks on the main sheet and fore throat halyard, greasing the sheaves and pins, and rubbing linseed oil into the wood. One of the blocks had been worn down so severely it had to be fortified with a good deal of epoxy, which I then sanded and filed down into proper block shape. All in all good day’s work. Tomorrow I am going to clean out and organize our aft storage space known as the lazarette, or “laz” for short.
I am looking forward to this summer. The crew is friendly and enthusiastic without exception, always a good work environment.
Below is a picture of the Gamage I took about eight years ago while on the Lettie G. Howard. It gives a good idea of what the rig of the ship is like (schooners are vastly different than barques), besides, it’s one of my proudest pictures.